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Why How to “Have it All” Advice Comes Up Short by author Laura Carroll

 

Laura CarrollABOUT LAURA CARROLL

 

Laura Carroll is the author of The Baby Matrix: Why Freeing Our Minds From Outmoded Thinking About Parenthood & Reproduction will Create a Better World, Families of Two: Interviews With Happily Married Couples Without Children by Choice, and Finding Fulfillment From the Inside Out.

In addition to writing nonfiction books, she has worked over the last 15 years as a business and litigation psychology consultant and used her expertise in behavioral sciences, psychology, and communications to advise business, legal, and nonprofit professionals on their communications strategies and goals.

Laura is a seasoned leader of personal and professional development seminars, and has appeared on a variety of television shows, including Good Morning America and The Early Show. She has been a guest on many radio talk shows to discuss social science topics.

You’ll also find her online at her nonfiction book site, LiveTrue Books, and her top blog, La Vie Childfree.

To get your copy of The Baby Matrix by Laura Carroll at Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Matrix-Parenthood-Reproduction/dp/0615642993/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1339007434&sr=8-2

Pick up your ebook copy at Barnes & Noble:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-baby-matrix-laura-carroll/1110625478

To get your e-copy of The Baby Matrix by Laura Carroll for your Kindle:

 

http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Matrix-Reproduction-ebook/dp/B0081HSF3S/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339007434&sr=8-1

To learn more about Laura, go to her website: http://lauracarroll.com/

Visit Laura Carroll on Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/LauraCarroll88

Like Laura Carroll on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TheBabyMatrix

Find out all about The Baby Matrix at Goodreads:  http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13641241-the-baby-matrix

 

 

Why How to “Have It All” Advice Comes Up Short

How women can achieve work-life balance and “have it all” remains a hot topic, and some high powered women have lots to say about it. Take Facebook‘s Chief Operating Officer (COO), Sheryl Sandberg.  Named Forbes magazine 5th most powerful woman in the world and Fortune‘s 12th most powerful women in business, she believes a key to having it all “starts with parity in the division of labor at home.” She also advises women to “keep your foot the gas pedal until the very day you need to leave to “take a break for a child.”

Then there is Anne-Marie Slaughter, former Director of Policy Planning for the U.S. State Department. In her article in the Atlantic, “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All,” she outlines very real challenges mothers still face when trying to balance career and parenthood, and posits that the ability for women to have it all boils down to changing the culture of our workforce, including more acceptance of flexible working hours, and moving away from “male behavior and male choices as the default and the ideal.”

But these and other women leaders all too often come up short when talking about having it all. Why? Keli Goff says it best in response to Slaughter’s piece: “For all of the thought-provoking solutions Slaughter proposes to help more women achieve greater work-life balance, she completely omits one of the most obvious: the need to change the entire conversation about how women define success, from a one-size fits all model that includes marriage, motherhood and career into a find-what-works-for-you model.”

What’s a major driver of this one-size fits all model? Embedded pronatalist beliefs about motherhood. One belief that’s scrutinized in The Baby Matrix is related to a pronatalist “Destiny Assumption” which says we all will want to become parents someday. Another is related to a pronatalist “Fulfillment Assumption” which says that having children is “the” way to experience true fulfillment in life. Both point to the assumption that a key component to having it all means having children.

What’s the truth? “All” can mean many things, and does not necessarily include parenthood. The change that is needed around having it all is a mindset change. What having it all means needs to change from a three-pronged script to answering the question, “What is my definition of success?” That answer is unique to each person, and does not automatically include parenthood.  If powerful spokespersons gave their advice from this mindset, it would not come up short. Instead it would expand what having it all can mean, and help people on their journey of figuring out for themselves what it means to them.

The Baby MatrixABOUT THE BABY MATRIX: WHY FREEING OUR MINDS FROM OUTMODED THINKING ABOUT PARENTHOOD & REPRODUCTION WILL CREATE A BETTER WORLD

In the movie The Matrix, the character Morpheus offers two pills to Neo—if he takes the blue pill, he will go on with life as he has before, believing what he has always believed. If he takes the red pill, he will find out what the “matrix” really is, and many of his earlier beliefs will be shattered. When it comes to taking a hard look at a specific set of beliefs about parenthood and reproduction that has driven our society for generations, The Baby Matrix is the red pill.

We commonly think our desire to have children boils down to our biological wiring, but author Laura Carroll says it’s much more than that. Unlike other books on parenthood, The Baby Matrix: Why Freeing Our Minds From Outmoded Thinking About Parenthood & Reproduction Will Create a Better World takes a serious look at powerful social and cultural influences that drive the desire for the parenthood experience, and lays out why we need to be very aware of these influences to make the most informed decisions about parenthood.

The Baby Matrix looks at long-held beliefs about parenthood and reproduction, and unravels why we believe what we believe. It lays out:

-the historical origins of beliefs about parenthood and reproduction

-why many of these beliefs no longer work for society or were never true in the first place

-why we continue to believe them anyway

-the prices society pays as a result

The Baby Matrix shows us how we got here, brings to light what is true, which includes knowing about the powerful influence of “pronatalism,” and explains why society can no longer afford to leave pronatalism unquestioned.

“This is not a book about convincing people not to have children,” says Carroll. “I want people to be very aware of the long-held social and cultural pressures, and be able to free themselves from those pressures when making parenthood choices. This will result in more people making the best decisions for themselves, will foster a society in which those who are best suited to become parents are the ones who have children and one that knows what it means to bring a child into the world today.”

This book will make you examine your own intentions and beliefs, will rile you, and might just change your mind. Whether you are already a parent, want to become a parent, are still making up your mind, or know you don’t want children, you’ll never think about parenthood in the same way.

The Baby Matrix is a must-read for anyone interested in psychology, sociology, anthropology, parenting issues, environmentalism, and social justice. But most of all, it’s for anyone, parent or not, who reveres the truth and wants the best for themselves, their families, and our world.

Watch the Trailer!

Watch at YouTube at http://youtu.be/JvdctbeRnts

~ ~ ~ KINDLE FIRE GIVEAWAY ~ ~ ~

Pump Up Your Book and Laura Carroll are teaming up to give you a chance to win a Kindle Fire!

Kindle Fire

Here’s how it works:

Each person will enter this giveaway by liking, following, subscribing and tweeting about this giveaway through the Rafflecopter form placed on blogs throughout the tour. If your blog isn’t set up to accept the form, we offer another way for you to participate by having people comment on your blog then directing them to where they can fill out the form to gain more entries.

This Kindle Fire promotion will run from July 2 – September 27. Winner will be chosen randomly by Rafflecopter, contacted by email and announced on September 28, 2012.

Each blogger who participates in The Baby Matrix virtual book tour is eligible to enter and win.

Visit each blog stop below to gain more entries as the Rafflecopter widget will be placed on each blog for the duration of the tour.

If you would like to participate, email Dorothy at thewriterslife(at)gmail.com. Last day to sign up is August 25. What a great way to not only win this fabulous prize, but to gain followers and comments too! Good luck everyone!

ENTER TO WIN!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

~ ~ ~WIN $50 GIFT CERTIFICATE ~ ~ ~

One lucky person who comments the most on Laura Carroll’s blog stops will receive a $50 gift certificate. The blog host who receives the most comments through the tour will also receive a $50 gift certificate!  Woot!

If you would like to be a host, email Dorothy at thewriterslife (at) gmail.com.

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The Baby Matrix Virtual Book Publicity Tour Schedule

Monday, July 2

Book Feature at Examiner

Tuesday, July 3

Book Feature at Book Marketing Buzz

Thursday, July 5

Interview at Literarily Speaking

Monday, July 9

Book Trailer Feature at If Books Could Talk

Tuesday, July 10

Interview at Blogcritics

Wednesday, July 11

Guest Blogging at Beyond the Books

Thursday, July 12

Interview at Beyond the Books

Friday, July 13

Interview at Between the Covers

Monday, July 16

Interview at Review From Here

Tuesday, July 17

Book Feature at Margay Leah Justice

Wednesday, July 18

Guest Blogging at Literal Exposure

Thursday, July 19

Guest Blogging at The Story Behind the Book

Friday, July 20

Interview at As the Pages Turn

Monday, July 23

Guest Blogging at As the Pages Turn

Tuesday, July 24

Interview at Pump Up Your Book

Wednesday, July 25

Guest Blogging at Lori’s Reading Corner

Friday, July 27

Book Review at Geek Girl Reviews

Monday, August 6

Guest Blogging at Books Books the Magical Fruit

Tuesday, August 7

Book Review at The Paperback Pursuer

Wednesday, August 8

Guest Blogging at I Am a Reader Not a Writer

Thursday, August 9

Interview at Examiner

Friday, August 10

Guest Blogging at The Bunny’s Review

Monday, August 13

Guest Blogging at Literarily Speaking

Tuesday, August 14

Book Review at Journey Through the TBR Pile

Wednesday, August 15

Guest Blogging at Alive on the Shelves

Thursday, August 16

Interview at Paperback Writer

Friday, August 17

Interview at Cafe of Dreams

Monday, August 20

Guest Blogging at Giving N Sharing

Tuesday, August 21

Guest Blogging at The Book Faery Reviews

Wednesday, August 22

Interview at The Book Connection

Thursday, August 23

Interview at Digital Journal

Friday, August 24

Interview at SheWrites

Tuesday, September 4

 

 

Book Feature at Mary’s Cup of Tea

Wednesday, September 5

Book Review at Books Books and More Books

Thursday, September 6

Guest Blogging at The Paperback Pursuer

Thursday, September 7

Guest Blogging at Broowaha

Monday, September 10

Book Feature at The Road to Here

Tuesday, September 11

Book Feature at From the TBR Pile

Wednesday, September 12

Interview at The Writer’s Life

Thursday, September 13

Guest Blogging at The Writer’s Life

Friday, September 14

Guest Blogging at Writing Daze

Monday, September 17

Book Feature at Celtic Lady’s Reviews

Tuesday, September 18

Book Feature at Reader Girls

Wednesday, September 19

Interview at Divine Caroline

Thursday, September 20

Guest Blogging at Coffee and a Keyboard

Friday, September 21

Book Review at Waiting on Sunday to Drown

Monday, September 24

Interview at American Chronicle

Friday, September 28

Book Review at Examiner

Laura Carroll’s THE BABY MATRIX VIRTUAL BOOK PUBLICITY TOUR will officially begin on July 2 and end on September 24 2012. Please contact Dorothy Thompson at thewriterslife(at)gmail.com if you are interested in hosting and/or reviewing her book. Thank you!

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Pump Up Your Book

  • Jennifer Rote

    This is a personal choice. I know a lot of people that should have made this choice and didn’t.